Your Halo's Slipping Down. To Choke You Now.
Inside The Mind Of The Deluded Voodoo Child
 

agar kuch hota, toh Khuda hota.
agar kuch na hota, toh Khuda hota.
marwaya mujh ko honay ne,
agar mein na hota, toh kiya hota?



Merey Bol. Merey Qa'ul. Merey Alfaaz.
Meri Saza.

Meri Irtiqa.
 

[+] About Me

    Bismillah jee Bismillah.. :p


    Name: Hafiz Moazzam Shahzaad :P

    Location: Lahore, Pakistan

[+] Special Thanks

[+] Mood..
    I feel The current mood of shemrez at www.imood.com

[+] Recent Catharsis


[+] Ancient Blabberings

[+] Places I Go
[+] Skitzopsychosis

    www.flickr.com
    This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from schizopsychosis. Make your own badge here.


[+] Other Reccomended Pastiches


[+] My Other Works

[+] Words of Wisdom
  • Everyone wanted to know what I'd do if i didn't win. I guess we'll never know.
    - Kanye West, Artiste.

  • Don't ever lose hope, but know that few things are just not worth fighting for.
    - Myra Iqbal, Rainbaby.

  • There is a God. Definitely. But I disagree with faith.
    - Shemrez Nauman Afzal, urban dysfunctional offspring.

  • Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get.
    - Forrest Gump, movie.

  • A mind doesn't have to be frustrated as long as its connected to a hand somewhere along the way.
    - Midhat Masood Syed, Chona Baby/Scorpio.

  • I do not cry, I do not weep. There are no tears to wipe away.
    - Sahar Haq, Nikki Jayii Haan.

  • Math, my dear boy, is the lesbian sister of biology.
    - Peter Griffin, Family Guy

  • What is truth? a mobile army of metaphors, metonyms, anthropomorphisms, in short, a sum of human relations which were poetically and rhetorically heightened, transferred, and adorned, and after long use seem solid, canonical, and binding to a nation. Truths are illusions about which it has been forgotten that they are illusions, worn-out metaphors without sensory impact, coins which have lost their image and now can be used only as metal, and no longer as coins.
    - Friedrich Nietzsche, Philosopher.

  • Spellings! Bah! Teeny little zits on the ass! Who cares!
    - Saleha Waqar, Ishtar/Self-proclaimed Diety.

  • There's something about indulgence and appreciation. Something hushed and sitting back, eyes closed in abandon, surrender, all things deliciouslydivine(sic).
    - Nausheen Ishtiaq, Sproj.

  • Life is just one word; balance.
    - Ian Andrew Eldred, Bassist.

  • Even if you are comfortable with Hicks, you must do Slutsky. Are you comfortable with Slutsky?
    - Dr. Debkusum Das, LUMS Visiting Economics Faculty.

  • When people say 'Miss you like hell', what do they mean? Who misses hell?!
    - Ameera Safdar Khawaja, Boobooss.

  • You know, in Wisconsin, if you win a girl a giant purple rhinoceros, she puts out!
    - Ashton Kutcher, Actor That 70's Show

  • It is only in the mysterious equations of love that the logical reasons can be found.
    - Dr. John Nash, Ph.D.

  • If rape is inevitable, just lay back and enjoy it.
    - Mukhtaran Mai.. No wait, Major Azhar! Haha!

  • Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion.
    - L. Ron Hubbard, Scientologist.

  • It's always good to end a paper with a quote. He says someone else has already said it best. So if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong. So I picked a guy I thought you'd like. 'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'
    - American History X, movie.

  • Never assume. It makes an ass of you and me.
    - Shahid Nauman Afzal, Chemical Engineer.

  • The basis for optimism is sheer terror.
    - Oscar Wilde, Literati.

  • The whole notion of feeling happy and complete only if you are with someone is 'Evel'.
    - Emel Tarik Shaikh, Saxpijjan.

  • Islam is our Faith, Democracy is our Policy, and Socialism is our Economy; All Power to the People.
    - Zulfikar Ali Bhutto Shaheed, Quaid-e-Awam.

  • Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather.
    - William Melvin 'Bill' Hicks, Comedian.

  • Every man, woman and child alive should see the desert one time before they die. Nothing at all for miles around, nothing but sand and rocks and cactus and blue sky. Not a soul in sight. No sirens, no car alarms, nobody honking at you, no madman cursing or pissing on the streets. You find the silence out there. You find the peace. You can find God.
    - 25th Hour, movie.

  • Jesus loves me, but I just want to be friends.
    - ?

  • I used to think if I killed somebody I would want to go to the cemetery and apologize. That's not really what guilt is though. Guilt's a feeling you have towards people who are living. It's like everyday you're out there shaking hands, talking. But you, the guilty person, you know that it's all unreal. It's like guilt is this secret inside of you that destroys the fabric of everything, and then everything's unreal. You can't even have a life. But it's not necessary for it to destroy you. You just have to face it.
    - Crime and Punishment in Suburbia, movie.

  • Apollo stood on the cliff. Come to the edge, he said. We can't, they said, it's too high. Come to the edge, he said. We can't, they said, it's too high. Come to the edge, he said. We can't, they said, we'll fall. Come to the edge, he said. They came. And he pushed them. And they flew.
    - Chicken Soup, book.






    • Tuesday, June 28, 2005

    Bat Bein..

    i havent been the same... i havent...


    An elegy for tonight's requiem; crimson mist, suppuration permit.
    In honour of cherubs and princesses..
    Bow forth Isis, ascend thy plight.
    Enter Attenius, majesty scented flight
    Hail Styx, love in tempestuous, alluring might..
    Enthralling the infidel
    Silencing the martyr..
    Soon you shall, heaven forthwith
    Incarnate a hue forgotten; semble the archangel's feathers
    Awaken and borne
    A spear, she-spear..
    And her abode, the dervish's bosom
    As the queen amorously puppeted by adorning maids
    A vacant silence exuberant from the midst
    Auroric crown, intoxic memory thee drown
    Rise now, valiant steed,
    Augment the divinity of sacrifice.
    Decree, decree; miasmic apparition in unison
    Enternia bequeaths thy poise
    For thou shalt tear asunder perpetuated dusk..
    As communion yields precipitous wish evermore..


    Truncate.


    [Dysfunction Timestamp]
    Shemrez had writer's block at 5:49 AM
    |

    ***


    Saturday, June 18, 2005

    My Struggle.

    Ik Tha Saajan Mandir Mein
    Aur Ik Preetam Masjid Mein
    Par Mein
    Saansoun Ki Maala Pe Simruun Mein
    Pii Ka Naam..


    Isn't it funny how when you look at your hand and see it move the way you want to, you realize that everything is going your way? Hence contentment in all its forms, is a self-imposed illusion.

    Happiness is temporary, and pain is forever.
    But we are eternal, and all this pain is an illusion.

    And when you dream too much, life itself seems like an illusion. Too much dreaming is hazardous for your health, but too little dreaming, and life is just... not life...

    And what if you can't feel? What if all you are is something taken for granted? In a myriad of consciences that life holds, just another incompetent variable? Life is a function that changes and is never a constant. Thus the fallacy of psychology.

    And I can't feel. I can't feel you. I can't hold you. I can't be moved when you cry.
    I can't cry. My eyes are too dry.

    I feel dehydrated, but I don't feel...

    I don't know what to say anymore. I'm blank.

    It happens when you've mastered the technique of keeping it all in and denying that it exists. Denial and reality go well hand in hand, but it is a marriage that never works out.


    [Dysfunction Timestamp]
    Shemrez had writer's block at 5:07 AM
    |

    ***


    Friday, June 17, 2005

    Angry Young Man Rambling.

    tu shaheen hai basera kar pahaaroun ki chataanoun per
    tu saaki hai, sawera kar ghamkhaaroun ki zaatoun per
    tu sooraj hai, roshni kar in khamosh taareek raatoun per
    tu khuda hai, maghfirat kar, bakhshish farma in haathoun per.

    aankhey neechi kar ke baat karo tum mujh se. tumhari harkat ke baad koi haq nahi hai tumhey ke tum mujh se nazar mila kar baat ker sako. kuch haya karo tum, aurat. kiya samajhti ho tum apnay aap ko? kiya tum hoor ho? ya jannat ki pari? farishta ho? ke Khuda ho? jesey mein kuch mahsoos hee nahi kar sakta... jesey mein insan nahi, aik.. aik cheez hoon. iss arz ka aisa hissa jis ka roz-e-azal se koi maqsad hee na tha, jis ka koi hisaab na ho gaa... jesey mein aik bejaan rooh hoon... jab chaaha khel khela, jab chaha khilounay ko phenk deeya... dard-e-dil ke waastay peida keeya insan ko. daad keliay kuch kam naa thay tahrt-o-bayaan. jis din yeh insan, yeh insan ka jism, insan ki rooh aur iss ka zameer dard mehsoos karna chorr deta hai, uss din se woh insan nahi haiwaan ban jata hai. iss zakhmi ko haiwaan na ban-nay doh, werna yeh kissi ko nahi chorray ga. dekh rehi ho tum aaj is maj'may ko? dekh rahi ho in tamaashbeenoun ko? bethey huway hein saaray. hamaray saamnay. taareeki mein. chup chaap tamasha dekh rehey hein. hass rehey hein ham per. lekin behissi ki khamoshi jab taari ho jaey, to tum ko in ki kiya awaaz aey? aray yeh toh woh loug hain jo apna dukh bardaasht nahi kar saktay aur doosray ki khushi dekh nahi saktay. bazurg ho jao, toh in ki nazroun mein khisak jaatay ho. noujawan nounehal ho, toh in ke saamnay kam-akal ho. agar tumhein iss lashkar ki hassi nahi sunai deti, toh tumhei iss gham ka ehsaas mein kesey dila sakoon ga? mein hee mujnoo hoon, pagal ho chuka hoon... paththar pe lakeer kheenchay jaa raha hoon ke koi aa kar parhay ga zuroor. lekin is duniya ko kiya fikr? kiya wasta is ka ham se? aaj yeh yahan hain, raat ko soay, aur kal bhool geay. aaj mein nashay mein hoon, toh kal yeh hain. aaj meri tapish se yeh roshni kam parr gyee, toh kal in ki nazroun mein sach aur jhoot ka tawazun, haq o baatil ka tarazuu tolna mehez aik mazaak hai. jao, mein bhee pagal hee tha joh tumhei is behuda duniya se alag fard samjha. dekho, mein kitna bewakoof hoon, abhi bhee tumhei samjha raha hoon. lekin aik baat yaad rakhna. Khuda ka dil bohot bara hai. chahay woh tumhay ma'af bhee ker day, mein nahi ma'af karoonga. mein thera insan. yeh meri ghalti samjho, meri naadani, ya meri nafrat. joh dil nafrat bardaasht nahi kar sakta, woh dil pyar ko kiya samjhay? jis dil ne aik din bhee dukh ki agni pariksha na dee ho, woh mohabbat ke haar ki khushboo kesey soongh sakta hai? kesey woh un ki mehek mein sama'a sakta hai? jao. chorr doh mujhay tanhai mein. chor doh mujhay nashay mein. aaj mein nashay mein hoon. aaj mein hee iblees hoon, mein hee jibreel hoon. aaj mein hee iishwar hoon, mein hee bhagwan, aur mein hee Khuda. tum mehez insan. aur mein? Khudai ki alaamat. aaj sheitaan ne apni quwat Khuda ki Khudai mein dhoond lee. jao, tumhei aik sharabi ki kiya samajh aey gee. dekho mujhay kamtar nazar se. tum is duniya ke tez raftar bhanwar ka bas aik aur jhonka ho. aey they meri saans ban-nay, lekin meri arzoo ka diya hee bhuja deeya. jao yahan se... bas... jao...


    [Dysfunction Timestamp]
    Shemrez had writer's block at 7:39 PM
    |

    ***
     
    Enough...