I've fallen in love with my roof
Just reminiscing about sheesha and kaanji on my rooftop with MKK, Mubeen and Ali Irfan. Lol... good times. And we pity people who believe God doesn't exist... or is it?Okay, so this is what I do on Saturdays. I sit home, tilt the lounge TV towards the dining table, and then sit on the computer. But the computer is in Zureiz’s room now, so I’m on my dad’s laptop. I feel awfully bored, and I just cooked myself some noodles. Strictly not complimenting myself, but they were GOOD! :P or maybe I was just too hungry. Infernal Affairs was a good movie. Jurassic Park is on now. Blekh!
Eve MSN isn’t signing in. How great is this? I mean, just downloaded the new version, and now this. I love you Nexlinx :P. Please! Cable Net! PLEASE!
You would say the good thing about having the house to myself is that I can do whatever I want. You know, people walk around naked, people smoke freely in their house when they know they can’t get caught, or something. And its amazingly funny how Chandler explains the concept of Spiderman not being a last name.
Yes, still hooked on Friends, and its sad.
And my life is sad too. So what else is new?
You would ask me if something’s wrong. I’ll say nothing.
But does it really matter if I lie? You won’t ask anyway.
I’m wearing a shirt my mother bought me while shopping for Eid. This is the first time I’m wearing it, and I remember how my mother was ‘upset’ on how I never wore the kurta shalwar she bought for me for Eid day. Apparently that is so because I had my SAT2 the next day, so I studied my ass off on Eid. Literally.
And I’m not too sad about it either; Eid is not that lively an affair in my household. Just a couple of holidays, getting some well-needed rest and late slumber, that’s what it is. It gets awkwardly depressing the second day, but who cares.
But I don’t mind studying on Eid day if I have an exam the next day. So that’s what I did, and it paid off. A 780 in Writing, and a 740 in Maths 2-c. Amazing, right?
“Unbelievable”. That’s what my parents said.
Why? Because I never listen to them being all “prioritize” and “make a routine” and “sleep proper hours” and “no late night internet”. Funny how success can be defined differently by different people. I remember telling myself the other day that it wouldn’t matter to my parents how successful I am unless I’m successful on their terms. It wouldn’t matter if I consider myself a loser. That’s what I do right now. But if I listen to them, whu-pee! I’m a success. How hypofuckingcritical.
People should learn that sometimes, you just have to let go.
I need to learn that too. Guess that’s just something I inherit from my parents. Just holding on to something that isn’t there. Just… holding on.
Don’t you just love the songs they put on ITV? Anyway, I’m in a pickle. :P The Malik Chiragh is on 26th Feb, and so is the Beaconhouse Extempore debate thing. Supposed to judge there, and I’ll have to talk to Faizi to see if I can miss the first round. But am I really going to have an impact at Malik Chiragh? By the way, its not a person, it’s the Malik Chiragh Debating Cup. And I love pickle.
Damn I’m so bored, just writing and whining and what not. Life is really messed up. Its not because I don’t have a routine, its because people have a problem with the way I live. People fail to realize that I have demands that need to be fulfilled so that in reciprocation, I respond desirously as well. But do people care? No. They’re too adamant on keeping alive their foolish outdated outmoded social orders and obsolete, archaic notions to let me flex my wings and just fly a bit.
Ever wonder why birds push their young off the branch when they get old enough to fly? What would happen to a bird fully grown that has never flown yet. Hell, I don’t even know how to drive! :P
I really wanted to go to Old Lahore today. Hear the Faj’r azaan on the 10th of Muharram near Nisar Haveli. Atleast make a move to rediscover my faith, but blah. Security risks, late night crap. People are just too scared.
And if a failed terrorist makes people actually get scared, hasn’t he succeeded? And don’t we normally fight against that very form of success? Something to think about.
And my Saturday ends perfectly. Oh yes, perfectly. Just waiting for my father to come back home. Many a wise man has once said, “Avoidance can be the best possible cure for some people”. In the Saturday night circumstance, that’s what it is for me.
If only it weren’t Muharram, then it’d be bliss.
But in remembrance of the Highest of the Martyrs, we observe solemnity tonight.
Here is to the Shuhada-e-Karbala. The loss of all muslims equally; he was not your Ali or mine. He was ours. And together, we mourn.
And I leave you with these words from Mir Anis.
The clamour of the drums, the trumpets’ cry!
The angels’ ears were deafened by the din.
And from its senses all the earth did fly,
As armoured soldiers, with their spears, moved in.
With shields upon their head came this vile band,
Like rain-clouds swooping on desert sand.
Intoning martial verses, Ali’s scion
Advanced with Gabriel’s hand upon his shoulder.
Onward he advanced – a male lion -,
With sleeves rolled up; each step he took grew bolder.
The bride of battle was in splendour wreathed;
Husain’s intrepid sword was now unsheathed...
[Dysfunction Timestamp]
Shemrez had writer's block at 10:55 PM
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Thursday, February 10, 2005
Sab Bakwaas Hai :D
btw, the topic of this blog is dedicated to Pavel! :D
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Here's a list of things passed on from many bloggers. Copy it and put the things you've done in bold and add another thing at the end.
01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watched the sunrise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight (food be much delicious and powerful commodity to waste)
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger (ok, an acquaintance, but for all intents and purposes, a stranger)
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath/shower
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Bench-pressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theatre
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to know about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Sword fought for the honor of a woman.
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Lied
97. (the real 97) Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. Got flowers for no reason
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas.
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night-stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Moulin Rouge
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congressperson
133. Packed up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ...more than once?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion, or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of 100mph or faster?
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery.
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: take, landing, during
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for his or her actions
175. Gone back to school (ok, yeah if visiting counts...)
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author whom you missed in school, and read him/ her
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch (tried to anyway)
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you.
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196. Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Lost your Best Friend for reasons of death
201: Fallen in love over the internet
202: Sung in a Barbers' Shop Quartet
203: Eaten a live animal
204: Been able to communicate in a language you barely learnt barely three days earlier. (twaday kinnay bacchay hain? :D :D) (ok, not been able to communicate well, but communicate nonetheless!)
205: Memorized words from all Disney movies like Aladdin, Lionking etc; furthmore, dialogues from Friends, Smallville and Star Trek (main bohat faarigh hoon)
206: Be able to relate to every song that you ever listen.
[Dysfunction Timestamp]
Shemrez had writer's block at 2:45 AM
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Monday, February 07, 2005
Only God I Saw
my tribute to baba kuhi shirazi, and to ali murtaza in his car on the way back from UCL on saturday, february 06, 2005.jalta raha, yunhi jalta raha...
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In the market, in the cloister - only God I saw
In the valley and on the mountain, only God I saw.
Him I have seen beside me oft in tribulation
In favour and in fortune - only God I saw.
In prayer and fasting, in praise and contemplation,
In the religion of the Prophet - only God I saw.
Neither soul nor body, accident nor substance,
Qualities nor causes - only God I saw.
Like a candle I was melting in His fire
Amidst the flames outflashing - only God I saw.
Myself with my own eyes I saw most clearly
But when i looked with God's eyes - only God I saw.
I passed away into nothingness, I vanished,
And lo, I was the All-living - only God I saw.
[Dysfunction Timestamp]
Shemrez had writer's block at 3:24 AM
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A Promise
a short while ago, i asked a good friend on what she thought of love. she never sms-ed back.anyway, screw the bad english. its the message thats important.
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A Promise...
From the very Begining, the girl's family
objected strongly on her dating this guy.
Saying that it has got to do with family background,& that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.
Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel
very often. Though the girl love the guy
deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"
As the guy is not good with his words, this
often cause the girl to be very upset. With that
& the family's pressure, the girl often vent her
anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in
silence.
After a couple of years, the guy finally
graduated & decided to further his studies in
overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the
girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I
know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take
care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"
The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.
The girl went out to the working society,
whereas the guy was overseas, continuing
his studies. They sent their love through emails
& phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.
One day, while the girl was on her way to
work, she was knocked down by a car that
lost control. When she woke up, she saw her
parents beside her bed. She realised that she was
badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted
to comfort her. But she realized that all that
could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She
has lost her voice......
The doctors says that the impact on her
brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening
to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.
During the stay in hospital, besides silence
cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied
her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to
be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the
phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it
rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not
wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a
letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait
any longer.
With that, she sent the ring back to him. In
return, the guy sent millions & millions of
reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....
The parents decided to move away, hoping
that she could eventually forget everything &
be happy.
With a new environment, the girl learn sign
language & started a new life. Telling herself
everyday that she must forget the guy. One
day, her friend came & told her that he's back.
She asked her friend not to let him know what
happened to her. Since then, there wasn't
anymore news of him.
A year has passed & her friend came with
an envelope, containing an invitation card for
the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When
she open the letter, she saw her name in it
instead.
When she was about to ask her friend what's
going on, she saw the guy standing in front
of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You.
With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger.
The girl finally smiled.
iF u really like the story, repost it so that ur
frenDs can read it too...and fulfill any unfulfilled promises....
...waada kiya tho waada nibhana paray ga...
[Dysfunction Timestamp]
Shemrez had writer's block at 3:21 AM
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