Questions.
Sciences and Arts were discovered to make life and living easier. So isn't it ironic how accounting principles render something obsolete after some time? I mean, you still pay $50,000 for some plant and machinery, and then a few years later there's no use of it anymore. The principles of depreciation inherently indicate that any money you spend will be, infact, worthless at some point in the future.So why do you fucking work so hard for that $50,000.
Is it true for human beings as well, that we become obsolete after some time? Well yeah, its true, people die. But during our lifetime, does our expiry date run out? Who can really determine the use of a human being? I mean, Marx may be dead, but his theories still dictate economic principles today. Is he useless?
And if at some point in the future, x equals something that is infact x itself, what is the fucking point in doing all those calculations? yeah, i know, to escape an E in maths, but hey, i got one too! Does it really matter? If i had gotten 11A's, would that have made me a better or more successful person? I'm at the top of the frikkin' world right now. Anyone dare defy me?
I'm happy the way I am. I'll wait for it to get better, if it doesn't, atleast i didnt get my hopes high and then feel like i got fucked in the face. If it gets worse, well, its been that way for 17 fucking years now, its no big deal, i've learnt how to handle it, and i will, so bring it on.
MKK showed me this atheist's viewpoint on life and death, it goes something like this;
An athiests view of why we are here, etc...
Life. It happened. It's just there, no design, no need for it. Does everything need to be designed? I think not, things can happen randomly and constantly do, "life" is no more surprising than "rocks"....
Death. I will cease to function as an organism, and my mass will be distributed into multiple different forms, and my conciousness will simply cease since it is a biproduct of my biological structure. The energy from the electrical system of my body will disapate and I will be gone.
© Orkut [Community :: "Free Will"]
Its amazing, really put my mind to work. I have to leave now. School; my boring monotonous life is to start again, in first gear, all over again.
And as always, here we go now. One more time. :)
[Dysfunction Timestamp]
Shemrez had writer's block at 6:29 AM
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Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Dhoka aur Far'eib
mera pyaar tumhi ho, tum hee toh ho...jaana na...
mera. tumhara. ho ga hamara.
toota hai, bikhra hai, jesey sitara.
yeh awaz sun lena
merey geetoun mein tum...
woh alfaz chun lena
joh ho jatay thay gum.
ab bhool jao.
merey saath Tum hee toh thay.
ab ho?
-
Atone Untold, Beset Behold.
A luminescent, godly hand descends beatific coronas upon his daughters.
Auras digress, radiance vilified.
Nimbus denigrated.
And your halo's slippin' down
to choke you now.
For Satan gets his wings tonight.
Fly, my prince. Fly to thy Lord.
Shai'taan ne aaj apni qu'wat Khuda ki Khudai mein dhoond hee lee.
www.hi5.com
[Dysfunction Timestamp]
Shemrez had writer's block at 3:05 AM
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Aarzoo
Aarzoo
[Dysfunction Timestamp]
Shemrez had writer's block at 2:28 AM
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Friday, November 19, 2004
Harping On About Failed Closure. Or Has It... ? *devilish smirk*
nov17, 2004 - 10:11am. youre online, you wont reply, you hate me now, but i still love you, no matter how much i fool myself. i ask myself at times why i think about you and that i need to forget you but you keep popping back without me realising for long, luxurious minutes of thoughts and delusions. why cant i get you out of my head? why cant i get you back into my arms? why cant you be mine again? why cant i just fucking accept it?! im not stupid. im not that dumb. i have thrown you out. why do i still look out the window? you were a black magician, i was in a trance from the very start. you like seeing me in pain, you like seeing me rot. whatever makes you happy; you'll only see a smile on my face, even though i be dying inside. screw you and all you stand for. just... go... go back to your happiness... youre not mine, you never were. stop making me convulse here. im already dying, dont you know? stop making it harder for me to go. stop making me want to leave faster. its too beautiful outside for me to die right now. you deserve the red sign on the green one. be away, dont talk to me, its all good, you want to ignore me. i dont give a fuck, but ive written so much. you should thank god youre not standing in front of me right now, i wouldve abandoned all my principles and punched you in the face for being such a backstabbing best friend. i gave up everything, even my pride, for you. when you were mine, when you ceased to be mine. i was your friend. and you hurt me. hah. you think youre that strong? im just doing this because you fucking want me to. youll get yours in the end. im just waiting, biding my time. i will have the last laugh. and i will have this battle. i am the game, and i make the rules. still tryin' to figure out what my move's gonna be? come on over sucker, why dont you ask me? dont you forget there's a price that you'll pay, 'cause i am the game. and now, i wanna play. start.game. fade out.*A devilish laugh emanates from behind the curtains. I feel concurrently proud and ashamed of my ability to decieve and be decieved. But like i said, Game On. Love being unhurt (; *
[Dysfunction Timestamp]
Shemrez had writer's block at 4:36 AM
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Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Chronicles from the Jubilant Day of Alms-giving
Another Apocrypha from my essenceOne More Dead Letter
Open your eyes. See.
Life is full of personal apocalypses.
Littered scarcely with a few shared tragedies
Outstretched hands,
Empty, razed palms
Exhausted gaits, imploring, pleading, hopeless, desolate.
Brought down in the prime of life
And the magnificence of youth.
Life in itself is a tragedy of sorts
As a whole, God's joke on us mortals.
His only solace, in the eyes of children.
Stay with me, safe and ignorant
Go back to sleep.
In a world where compromise reigns supreme
War drums rebel
Graveyards, footprints upon sacred, formerly mortal sand.
And marble shrines.
Bare feet on cold marble, stinging.
Underneath it all, the unvoiced solemn reverberation.
Pay homage with sweet-scented flowers
Petals for every tear shed, every bond taken to the grave
And for the solitary rosepetal gone astray in my shoe?
The tears that never were.
That have no value. Spurious.
Swaying to the rhythm of the new world order, like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums.
The haze in front of my eyes, thick, intense smoke.
The intoxicating smell of incense sticks
That invade the nostrils and prickle the eyes.
A sniff and another teardrop.
Women are not allowed to attend graveyards.
But veils are perceptible
Sedate in their grief.
To The Dead.
Look over there. Do you see the son with his arms folded
Beside his mother's grave?
Do you see the marble engravings?
A perpetual teardrop with every name of the Diety
Don't fret precious I'm here, step away from the window
Go back to sleep
Lay your head down child
Counting bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums
And a kaleidoscope
Red petals under arranged, stringed yellow flowers
And that cold marble underneath
And a gaze lost in nothingness
An enigmatic scope of the puny shrine that honours our dead.
An empty grave, a mound of mud that is home to weeds and roots for the time,
But that shall hold another loss in a short while.
Stand, and smile.
This place is mine.
It belongs to me.
This is my home, where my body shall rest while my soul proceeds to Al-Barzakh
I bid you adieu right now. I will come back to reclaim you.
Pay no mind to the rabble
Pay no mind to the rabble
Head down, go to sleep
To the rhythm of the war drums
Come In Good Spirits, bids the graveyard keeper in his farewell.
The satire.
Back at the breakfast table, the remnant three of seven brothers.
The twist of fate that nestled barbed orchids.
Anguished faces, not one, but three.
I experience such sentiments, revelations of such compelling enormity, and people think I'm normal.
A sip of tea, a puff of smoke.
And laughter, all over again.
Impermanent; until eternity gets the better of us once more.
Pay no mind to what the other voices say
They don't care about you
Like I do.
Safe from pain and truth and choice and other toxic devils,
See, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do.
Just stay with me
Safe and ignorant.
Go back to sleep.
The stupor;
A myopic vision brought back into focus
Heaven, back in the embrace of God
Return to faith, my restoration.
Rebirth. All over again.
Allah-u-Akbar, Allah-u-Akbar
Laa Ilaaha il-Allahu
Allah-u-Akbar, Allah-u-Akbar
Wa lillahil Hamd
The Imam, and his beautiful timbre
The tenor of God's call.
A delightful sur'.
Allah-u-Akbar, Allah-u-Akbar
Laa Ilaaha il-Allahu
Allah-u-Akbar, Allah-u-Akbar
Wa lillahil Hamd
And to be brought back on the Road of the Faithful
By music.
There lives none more propitious than me.
I'll be the one to protect you from
Your enemies and all your demons
I'll be the one to protect you from
A will to survive and a voice of reason
I'll be the one to protect you from
Your enemies and your choices son
They're one in the same
I must isolate you
Isolate and save you from yourself
I closed my eyes, listened to him pray. Listened to Him Speak. Speak; to me.
My body, among other worshippers, still and silent.
But my spirit, it danced among them. It pranced 'round the praying chambers
The child point and giggles
My faith and conscience waltzing in jubilation
I'm back on the Right Path.
Allah-u-Akbar, Allah-u-Akbar
Laa Ilaaha il-Allahu
Allah-u-Akbar, Allah-u-Akbar
Wa lillahil Hamd
My arms at angles, my head tilted, ear towards the sky
Ready to receive the next Divine Command
My essence twirling round and round
A dervish, a glad worshipper in motion.
Having such experiences, yet to the world, I'm customary.
Stay with me
Safe and ignorant
Just stay with me
So that I can hold you and protect you
From the other ones
The evil ones, they don't love you, son,
Go back to sleep
No matter how much land or wealth a person amasses
No matter how much property one owns
God's earth owes and grants only a six-foot cube of mire and insects
No charge.
Allah-u-Akbar, Allah-u-Akbar
Laa Ilaaha il-Allahu
Allah-u-Akbar, Allah-u-Akbar
Wa lillahil Hamd
[Dysfunction Timestamp]
Shemrez had writer's block at 8:48 AM
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Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Impeded in the Resurgence of Faith
The hot water cleanses my body.
The steam rises, my sins disperse.
Awake, Lord Leviathan
And claim thy Godliness
The Evangelist put forth the Book, and vowed to take this world back from Satan.
But it takes Evil to defeat Evil; good is only something that can hinder it provisionally.
For water can extinguish fire, but cannot stop it from erupting again.
Yet fire and fire collide, an inferno, and all is gone.
Take this world back from Satan.
Enter, Lord Leviathan.
Commander of the Wicked Legions of Hell’s West.
Maybe I was sick and tired of not finding any of my clothes because the patterns matched exactly that of my brothers, or the size was indistinguishable from my father’s clothes. Screw it all. I needed to find my own.
And I proclaimed to the Sun in its Supreme Splendour and Majesty
O Lord of the Noon Sky
Indeed I have found the secret to the killer ending line
The smell of my shirt, flowers and musk, a soothing breeze
My nostrils and senses at peace. Its feel, a symphonic myrrh. Sigh…
And raise your glasses to the Rushed He
As the theatre artiste Gabriel and Chamcha the depraved whisperer plummet,
Spiralling
Focused into a penumbra of confusion
Good and Evil, mixed and blended into wholesomeness.
Like Fatuu’s brownies and their secret ingredient; Love.
Gabriel, your halo's slippin down to choke you now.
And behold your Lord's evanescent mercy.
You ask why I smirk, you ask why I weep
You ask why I behave so, why I’m belligerent.
Let me acquaint you with the tale of a petulant fool, an obtuse mortal
A waste of skin, too superfluous to walk this land.
And I speak of him,
As He, is me.
And that is for you to believe or renounce.
I speak so forth.
I came on too hard.
She’s scared, she cowers.
I fell too fast.
She’s shy… A whimper.
I dreamt too much.
She’s pulling out.
Retreating…
Away.
You can see your life flash before your eyes when you die
Its true for a blind man as well
A certain yet uneasy calmness in my fall.
And a yearning but, a indistinct melancholy, in my eventual poignancy.
Perpetuity
In its magnificence.
In my tears.
Crimson betrays my eyes.
And the smile, a wicked curve that rivets the red river on skin.
Pale angel go away
Come again some other day
The Devil has my ear today
I’ll never hear a word you say
Promised I would find a little
Solace and some
Peace of mind.
No more anxiety, no more rapacity
Death to Ineffectuality.
For I have found my faith again
But not in my Love.
But In Fear, the Other.
[Dysfunction Timestamp]
Shemrez had writer's block at 5:46 PM
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Friday, November 05, 2004
Dervish Twirls
I could feel my halo slipping down.My angelic purity desecrated.
The voice of God’s faithful calling into the night.
One solitary, booming tone.
Delivering the call of He who is timeless.
It gets vociferous.
I shift and sift under my mantle, obscuring the noise.
The irony, sacred music besmirched to just… noise.
I press the pillow to my ear.
I can still hear the call of my ancestors.
Fourteen hundred years ago, Bilal clambered his way up to the House and called the faithful.
Now, his voice invokes me.
Someone else’s atrocious stories.
So glad to see you well.
Another voice emerges. And soon, so many.
Each of his own.
As the religion of God sullied through the ages.
Another victim of the astuteness of the Lords of Hell.
Whose voices guide our hearts more than five times every instance the sun and moon rejoice as Kings of our Sky.
And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you to the ground
Multitudinous voices, each calling the faithful to the same.
A diverse tone, another dissimilar voice.
A different age.
For one pillar cannot hold the house up.
And a house on one pillar cannot stand.
Fools.
Overcome and
Completely silent now
It took Mus’a one voice from the sky.
And you still blaspheme.
And now you stand reborn before us all.
And the pigeons of Mus’a that God granted a second existence in this world
Are not sons of God.
These are dead letters. Effigies that remain in the minds and souls.
A dead letter is a letter than cannot be delivered
Because the individual to whom it is written can never be located
And it cannot be returned to the person who wrote it.
And I carry in my hands the Testaments of the Divine.
Angelic handwritings in cherubic ink.
To tug you off your cloud.
And I relive the irony of December 14, in the year of the Lord, 2003
Another dead letter, lost in a silicon vortex.
Recall the deeds as if they’re own
And I remain, a single solitary human being.
Incoherent with anyone else.
And everyone else is happy.
I remain to smile at my misery alone.
Everyone else has someone else
But it had to end somewhere
So let it be me
I’m more than just a little curious
On how you’re planning to go about
Making your amends
To the dead.
The sun rises, its beauty and magnificence. Cthulhu daybreak.
Saffron’s blight summoned.
Spite brought thee orchids, sin to treasure if it grant thee pleasure.
Optimism in eclipse, her phantom in the miasma, in bullion mirrors
Leviathan’s bride walks among us once more.
Summer dies fast, the wintriness of our sins smidgens our cadaver.
For we are all dead under the illusion that we are alive.
And that is the prank played by God and Satan upon mortals.
Our veils withhold our desires in violet overtures.
But our ebony clad for dusk, the law of evil made flesh.
Eager for dusk
And her welcome.
Iscariot; in surreptitious worship we sink.
Dedicating to Eve the talent of witchcraft.
Condemning her to interment in Carpathia.
Forever a voyeur I've been
Nocturnal Goddess of the Moon
Leviathan’s Bride
She comes. Unseen.
Wisdom breeds, fecundity
And your halo’s slipping down
To choke you now.
[Dysfunction Timestamp]
Shemrez had writer's block at 1:07 PM
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Wednesday, November 03, 2004
The Greatest Pain in Life
from a fwd mail.The greatest pain in life
is not to die, but to be ignored.
To lose the person you love so
much to another who doesn't care at all.
To have someone you care so about so much throw a party...
and not tell you about it.
When your favorite person on earth
neglects to invite you to his graduation.
To have people think that you don't care.
The greatest pain in life,
is not to die,
but to be forgotten.
To be left in the dust after another's great achievement.
To never get a call from a friend,
just saying "hi".
When you show someone your innermost thoughts and they laugh in your face.
For friends to always be too busy to console you when you need someone to lift your spirits.
When it seems like the only person who cares about you,
is you.
Life is full of pain,
but does it ever get better?
Will people ever care about each other,
and make time for those who are in need?
Each of us has a part to play
in this great show we call life.
Each of us has a duty to mankind
to tell our friends we love them.
If you do not care about your friends
you will not be punished.
You will simply be ignored...
forgotten...
as you have done to others.
This poem was written by a young girl who committed suicide some years ago.
Please show someone you care for them today.
[Dysfunction Timestamp]
Shemrez had writer's block at 1:47 AM
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Jaan
Shemrez Nauman AfzalHSC 1 Commerce
Bohot yaad aatay ho tum jaan,
bohot yaad aatay ho
Raatoun ki neend haram ker dee
kyun tum itna satatay ho
Aankh ne aansu se wuzu ker leeya
Dil ne khoon ke aansu roh leeay
Teri yaad jab saaray sukh cheen leti hei
Najanay woh chein tum kis terha lotatay ho
Bohot yaad aatay ho tum jaan,
bohot yaad aatay ho
Iss doori ki aaghosh mein kis terha tum tarrpaatay ho
Uss rangeen saawan ki yaad se baar baar tum rulatay ho
Un baahon ki aas mein jeewan guzar raha hai
Jin mein tum mujhay lapait ker rooh ki pyaas behlatay ho
Phir mujhay dobara chorr ker unhi yaadoun mein kho jaatay ho
Uss haseen shab ke wajood mein kho jaatay ho
Qurbaan ho jaoon tumhari zindagi pe, jaan
Meri zindagi ka har haq bhee toh tum apna kehlatay ho
Bohot yaad aatay ho tum jaan,
bohot yaad aatay ho
Kaash un khwaboun ki duniya mei mein bhee kho jaata
Joh khoobsurat arz tum mujhay dikhatay ho
Uss soch mein phir se gumm ho jaoon
Unhi khushiyoun mein jahan tum ley jaatay ho
Kasam kha ke kehta hoon uss Khuda ki
Iss jism ki rohm rohm mein tum samaah jatay ho
Darr lagta hai terey intezaar mein zindagi bhee bewafa na niklay
Dukh dard sehna, bardaasht, therao tum dilaatay ho
Teri yaad mein lahuu raasta talab kertey nazar se jhallak jaata hai
Lekin is dard ki nishani ko merey chehray se sirf tum he mitaatay ho
Apnay bhee paraey ho geay iss nashay ke khumaar mein
Iss sunsaan jeewan ki dharrkan aakhir kaar tum hee sawaartay ho
Tungg aa geya hoon iss zindagi se, yeh jeewan joh teri mojoudgi ke begheir hei
Hassta hoon mein apnay aap per, apni bebasi per.. uss wajood per joh teri haziri ke begheir hei
Kis ajeeb khumaar mein mubtila ker deeya hai tu nay
Deen o duniya ko ab mein thukrata hoon
Uss aik lamhay ke intezaar mein hoon bas..
Bas.. aik aur mulakaat chahta hoon...
Uss gharri se saamnay waqt ki bebasi dikhatay ho
Zinda toh mein hoon, par jeena tum sikhatay ho
Bohot yaad aatay ho tum jaan, bohot yaad aatay ho
HAPPY BURDAY CHONAY! mmuahh!!
[Dysfunction Timestamp]
Shemrez had writer's block at 1:29 AM
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Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Scarlet Bride
He pushes the two children who were hiding in the closet out of the door, and closes it behind them. The children, unabashed, press their ears against the door, only to be scolded by their mother, who took them away with her fingers painfully on their ears.He turns and looks at the bed. Covered in rose petals; pink, blood red, crimson. And upon that bed sits his bride. Dressed in crimson, a dim sparkle of jewellery emanates from behind the bed veil. Enchantments of the goddess, they garnish the beauty of whom they adorn.
He sits on the cushiony bed close to her, his hand resting on the mattress, him tilting just a bit so he can see her face. Solemnly down-turned, like every new bride, she maintains her gaze. He smiles. He runs his other finger on her cheek, slowly up, caressing, then down. Fixing it under her chin, he compels her face up.
"You're looking very beautiful tonight", he says.
No reply.
He stands up, and unbuttons his top shirt button. "You might be uncomfortable in that. Why don't you change into something more comfortable?"
Still, no reply.
Exasperated, he sits back down in front of her. "Look, the formalities are over. If we're supposed to spend our lives together, wouldn't it be awkward if we never talked? You need to feel free around me. I'm your husband, not some jailor…"
Gaze still fixed on a rose petal on the bed, she smiles.
"Thaats better. So… I suggest you get comfortable"
"Don't you like me wearing this?"
"No no… Its not that, you look positively beautiful in this… I just thought you might be uncomfortable… You were sitting like that…"
She takes off the shawl from her head, revealing a gorgeous head of hair, dark dull brown, as straight as beauty would permit. Swerving her neck sideways, her hair flows like a graceful river, abundant with elegance. He runs his hand through her hair, and then bends to kiss her on the forehead. "Are you going to change or do you want me to take that off?"
She shifts her gaze, alarmed, as she looks at him with widened eyes.
"Oho! Listen… It was a joke. Since we're married now, I think you need to understand my sense of humour. We ARE husband and wife now, so I just want to be open with you. It was a joke… We won't if you don't want to…"
She sighs, and looks down. A confused state encompasses her at the worst possible time she could want one.
He sits next to her, and takes her hand in his. "Don't worry. Don't you ever worry with me around. I'm here, and I'm here for you. I'll always be. You don't need to worry about anything now. You're my wife, and I love you." He smiles, and she reciprocates the gesture.
"S… so do I. Th… This is the first time I'll be sharing the bed with anyone…".
He kisses her affectionately on her cheek, and grabs a pillow as he stands up. He throws the pillow onto the floor…
"What are you doing…?"
"I thought I'd sleep on the floor tonight. You need a good night's rest, you've been sitting for five hours straight. We can work things out later, I'm sure we will…"
"No… you don't have to…"
"Really?" He smiles. "I would have nothing better than to have you in my arms, but I think I'd value your comfort more than mine."
"I'll… I'll go change…"
"Me too. So… You wanna watch a movie or…"
"You decide. I'll just be back."
He changes into his sweatshirt and jeans and opens the room door. He heads for the kitchen, where he finds his anxious mother.
"So…?", she asks, twiddling her fingers.
"So what, mom?"
"You know…"
"No. And I feel very awkward talking to you about it, so don't"
"Do you…"
"She's my wife. I have to respect her decision as well."
His mother smiles provokingly.
"Do what you want, mother. I don't care." He takes a few Coke bottles out of the fridge and closes the cabinet after he takes out a few packets of crisps.
"Always you, always the one who gives up. I'll go and talk to her… it IS the custom after all…"
"Listen, mom. She's my wife. She's not my slave, and I'm not her master. I don't give a damn about customs or anything. I'm going to spend my life with her, not you. So stay out of it. And if you start that mother-in-law daughter-in-law crap you better know you'll have to face me. She's my responsibility. If anyone disrespects her in any way", his tone gets angry, "ANY way, I will not spare them. I love her, and nobody messes with someone I love. You better remember that, or write it down somewhere so that you don't forget. You will have hell to pay if you cross the line." He storms out of the kitchen, but stops just outside the door.
She had been listening all that while. She had just bolted for their room.
He starts off again in a slow pace, and reaches the room just in time so that he has 'clearly' been unaware of her presence. He enters to find his bride in a t-shirt and pyjamas now, sitting in front of the T.V, the pillow he placed on the floor in her embrace.
"Come, sit with me. I put this on, it's a good movie…"
He sits next to her, puts his arm around her. She opens the Coke bottle, and makes him take the first mouthful before she does. He weakly tightens his grip on her shoulder, and kisses her on her cheek, then her neck.
She puts down the Coke bottle and enfolds her groom in her arms, tightly, and kisses him on the nose. She pulls her head back to smile at him.
"You have a beautiful smile, love."
"Thankyou... You have nice arms, and i love the way you smell." She replies with an even bigger smile.
"You don't want to watch this movie do you?"
A somewhat arousing look in her eyes, her gaze fixed on him, her head sheepishly low. "I was thinking maybe we could..."
"Talk?"
"Yes yes... talk... Yeah... talk..."
"Well, i have a topic in mind. It IS our first night as husband and wife, so i thought we'd discuss turnons"
"Good. I thought you were going to turn me off with some philosophical political talk."
He smiles. "Noww you're back! What happened to you before?"
"I guess it was the clothes. Too damn depressing... My special day... all over...". She fakes a few sobs.
"Hmm... looks like we need to cheer you up with the special night then...?" He smirks his devilish smirk.
"My my...". She rests herself on her palms planted on the floor.
"Turnons."
"The way you talk dirty. You go."
"The way you look at me before you flutter your eyelashes."
"Like this?"
"Mmhmm... Your turn."
"The way you hold me in your arms, real close, so i can feel your heartbeat with my chest," she puts her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder, "the way you breathe so i can feel you breathing on me and my heartbeat getting lost in yours..."
"The way you say such things and make me love you even more". He picks her up in his arms, and walks to the bed.
"The way you're so strong you can pick me up." Her legs dangle from his arms.
"The way your lips are so irresistible." He throws her on the bed, and proceeds to sit next to her again.
"The way you try so hard to hold yourself back."
"The way you realise that and make it even harder for me." He runs one of his hands up her other side and lies down as she lies down next to him, looking into his eyes.
"The way you...". Her statement muffled by him, a soft, scintillating peck on her lips. She closes her eyes, and shudders.
"You know, I hate to bring it up but, I can NOT understand why he left you. I mean, you're everything a man could dream about, a perfect wife, a perfect friend, you're someone worth spending your life with because every moment with you is so amazing, its priceless. It wouldn't be spending your life, it would be living it. To its truest essence. That man must be a fool, or just unlucky enough not to deserve you..."
She smiles shyly. Certainly not the way to go, she thinks.
"Look at me. Look at me!", He forces her gaze up, and puts her hand on his chest. "Can you feel my heart beating? Do you know that this is the heart of the happiest, luckiest man in the world? Do you know who its beating for? Do you know why I smile?"
She presses onto his heart, and moves her hand up to his neck. She kisses him, and bites his lower lip. His turn to quiver now. The blissful purity.
"So can you imagine how unlucky she is?"
"She can't be. She's happy, and I want her to be."
Silence.
"Because I am. I finally am. With you. My happiness." He smiles. So does she.
"You know, I always thought I could marry someone who could understand what I feel for her, someone who could relate to it, someone who could empathize. Who could actually KNOW what it felt like to be me..."
"Who could sit on you and turn you on before you could even count to five...". She rolls over and perches herself on him, her legs on his either sides, her hands moving up his sides as she lowers herself for his lips again.
His hands survey her sides, his lips longing for hers. His eyes, full of passion, the bounty in sight.
The moon shines a bit more brightly, a slightly more perplexing iridescence.
The starts twinkle and sparkle in glee, as they whisper and giggle to each other.
Nature is in love tonight.
As the ground beneath our feet makes love to the sky above our heads.
The room's illuminated curtains now resort to a shadowy black.
The yellowish light inside has been turned off.
And so begins a journey of two friends, two souls.
In search of being One.
[Dysfunction Timestamp]
Shemrez had writer's block at 1:37 PM
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Driveling Upon Carbon Soot
November 02, 2004 - Economics Period(From the night before)
There are times when you want to be with someone.
When the loneliness is so portentous that someone is present in the company of none.
There are times that you want to be alone.
When the chatter of the crowd ceases.
Silence prevails.
Their mouths move.
But the human voice conveniently evades the ear.
Expediency, bliss.
Times when you wish that babies would never grow up, that children never age.
Their innocence forever immortal in their smiles.
Their jubilation perpetual in their eyes.
Times when you wish people die.
Perfection.
To each, his own.
Subjectivity.
Purity.
As this piece of paper burns into a nonentity.
Glistening, crumpled, shadow-black soot.
Fighting against flame, unsuccessful.
Within its now parched being, the ink that mirrors my mind.
My irony. My bitter sarcasm.
My release.
Waiting for that haze to inhabit me again.
Like a worshipper on pilgrimage.
To honour her shrine.
Blank.
[Dysfunction Timestamp]
Shemrez had writer's block at 1:34 PM
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